Hey world! The news, the media, the social media posts, the conversations in the hallways, in the stores, in churches, at birthday parties, weddings, family gatherings…amongst the many topics discussed, there is one that over the last few years has remained constant; on the radar of many information outlets and on the lips of many people. Some are for and some are against and some, well remain neutral rarely voicing their opinions.
I took a break from blogging and writing to give birth and focus on the new role of being a mom of two. I have been quite occupied with postpartum activities – new baby (not so new now), raising an almost seven year old daughter, being a wife, career woman, daughter, friend, getting post baby bod in check, but above all, and before all these roles, being a daughter to my heavenly father – mentally staying FREE from the wiles of the enemy that may seek to take my mind – in the form of postpartum depression. For those who have followed by blog pre-second baby, you know where I was at after my first born and how I rid myself of such bondage.
A year post-baby and I can testify that the Lord has been good to me, and my healing and freedom remain intact. I have been following the news and everything #metoo movement, Bill Cosby, Politicians and powerful men caught in sexual scandals, Judge Kavanaugh etc. Let me offer some perspective on these from someone who was held captive by her past for many years – I’m talking twenty-five plus years!
Concerning #metoo movement: I acknowledge that me too, I was sexually abused and molested countless times; me too, I was raped; me too, I was harassed; for years I lived under the shame and guilt and anger and disdain and fury of the existence of such wickedness. But then Jesus got a hold of my heart again and over the course of a year took me on a personal transformation journey to freedom. I emerged from this journey a new woman in Christ, accepting my past, forgiving my abusers, handing every single hurt and pain and guilt and shame and anger over to Him – JESUS! At the end of this journey, I was set FREE – Faithfully Renewed Encouraged Exceptional woman of God. Since that monumental encounter with God, I do not identify as a victim of sexual abuse but rather a victor – I am FREE from my bondage and thus cannot claim a hashtag on my soul, on my being. I will acknowledge it, but I will not claim it. See there is a difference – one confirms that a circumstance occurred, the other affirms that by not holding on to that circumstance, my heart remains FREE and at peace. I forgave my abusers when I released all the pain and hurt. Jesus has won my battles for me – so there is no need for me to claim victim rather I proclaim and claim victor! I pray for the courageous women who have bravely been at the front of this movement, fighting for the injustices and rights of girls and women. We are given different purposes – some to advocate, some to be the voice for others, some to write, sing our experiences to inspire and motivate others. While pursuing our purpose in this world, it does the soul a wealth of good to do so from a place of peace and forgiveness.
Concerning politicians and powerful men: I believe that there is a time for everything under the sun and that we as a people allow the rule of law and the courts determine the fate of anyone accused of such allegations. If due to worldly means they can hide and deny allegations, so be it. But I strongly believe that the truth no matter the number of years gone by, surely comes out – even after they are long dead and gone. With this belief, as a victor, I don’t fret over the outcomes of elections, or legal proceedings. Let’s remember that to be FREE and remain FREE, there is a higher order on your being – living in anger, thriving on anger only deteriorates the soul. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So, on Judge Kavanaugh’s confirmation? Ha isn’t it amazing how our past will resurface repeatedly until it gets the attention that should be given to it? I applaud Dr. Ford for speaking up…her truth and in fairness, allowing Judge Kavanaugh to also speak his truth. I believe Dr. Ford, not because I have been abused before, but because I saw in her eyes the truth. An adage says if you want to know if a person is telling the truth, look in their eyes – you see their soul. The judge got confirmed anyway – not surprised. My thoughts? Whether an accused is found guilty or not, my very core must be at peace. My very core should be FREE and remain FREE so that irrespective of the outcome, I know who the greatest judge is – God – and someday, the truth will come out. Going back to previous sentiments – when I choose forgiveness, I release the abuser’s hold on my life. When you choose forgiveness, you find immeasurable peace irrespective of the outcome from the worldly courts of justice.
Concerning Bill Cosby: oh, the TV father I grew up watching from across the ocean in Ghana. When I think about it, while he was on TV being the perfect father, I was experiencing various forms of sexual abuse and harassment. To think that he had a double life just makes me cringe and pity him. Finding out about his demons, I remember vividly my reaction – I just smiled. Because no darkness can be hidden for long; eventually the light shines through and brings what is hidden to light. He has faced the consequences – good – no wasting energy on him; but I turn my concern to all the women he abused. I hold your hands, look in your eyes and encourage you to release him from your soul, from your heart, from your mind.
Reclaim your control not from a place of anger and spite but from a place of serene inexplicable strength! So that should the worldly court system reverse or amend its verdict, you my sister, will be and remain FREE.
There are few things that over the years I have found to be precious, priceless – the peace of my mind, body and soul is very important. What is the cost of peace? Forgiveness. Forgiveness sets you free which brings you peace. Having this peace centers my world and everything I encounter. I have only one life, here but for a short while, therefore I will always choose the gospel of peace; there my heart, my soul, my mind remains FREE.